A therapist gives love advice to a non-committal astronaut

Aari

Credit: Adam Miller

Astronaut: Hello

Therapist: Hello. How are you feeling today?

Astronaut: Well…

Astronaut: I’m feeling a bit inadequate.

Therapist: Tell me more. 

Astronaut: I’m just feeling like I’m not contributing to anything. It all seems bigger than me. 

Therapist: That’s because it is.

Therapist: Tell me, what sort of validation are you looking for?

Therapist: You left earth. From up above, you achieved horizons only a fraction of us could imagine. So, what part of you is unfulfilled?

A: I guess I feel lonely. In that this is a unique experience and lifestyle. And my mortality, and ideas of mortality, and my fears, even, are different. I feel disconnected to the majority. Like no one can relate. Like I’m unable to sync.

TH: You are different, but only in privilege. Your vision and what you get to experience for a living is what differentiates you. But that’s it. The loneliness is a manifestation of something else. Because you, more than anyone else, should know that none of us are truly alone. When you breathe in air – that’s an interaction with the oxygen the universe provides us. When you drink water, that’s an interaction with molecules and cells both in and outside of us. So, loneliness is nearly impossible. If it’s humans…other human interaction…that you yearn for, then say that.

A: It’s hard to form and keep relationships.

TH: I imagine so. You’re away most of the time. 

A: Not only that. But when I’m above Earth, just hovering there, looking down at the magnificence and the wonder, feeling nothing but pure shock, and awe…I start to tingle and everything inside me tells me that there’s no way that each of us could experience any single connection as beautiful, as pure, as fated and as calculated as our birth, and as the creation of this world.

TH: Love transcends many things. But it will never transcend your miscalculation and fascination of the universe. We are blessed and lucky to be spectators. Blips on the mainframe. Love is just below that. It’s another wonder and miracle that couldn’t possibly be calculated. If you enjoy these two fascinations separately, and appreciate them for what they are individually, then you’ll find that many of the blueprints of the universe are embedded in many of our natural instincts and desires. 

So, you can’t stay to one person? Fine. Visit, like an asteroid. Be an asteroid that orbits, but never hits. You don’t have to strike the ground, making direct contact in anyone’s life, if you don’t want to. You can hover and still make impact, if that’s what you want. 

A: I don’t want to end up hurting anyone.

TH: Most asteroids don’t come as a surprise. They are calculated years ahead of time. And an asteroid doesn’t have to show up and say “hey, I’m an asteroid.” We can just look up and know, “Something’s different in the sky. How do I feel about it?” If we like it, we embrace that there are many asteroids coming to visit our atmosphere in our lifetime. And if we don’t like it, well, we’ll do what everyone else does. Tune it out. Go back on our phones – on tinder – and find someone who better aligns with our needs.

I’m saying, if you are a non-committal person, be that. Don’t waiver. Be okay with the fact that some of us just need to orbit around love, without ever actually hitting the mark.