5 Ways Poverty Affects your Mindset
Nicholas Fogle
credit: Nicholas Fogle | NYC Housing Authority | Grant Housing
I hate being poor. I hate being poor because of the Circumstance of the Circumstance. What I call “ the Circumstance of the Circumstance” are not just the issues that we recognize as the lack of funds and financials for supporting oneself but rather the issues of how you experience it and all that comes with that experience, ranging from the external upsets to the internal dilemmas. I hate this circumstance very much.
It’s not like I chose to be born poor. Nobody chooses their circumstances; nobody chooses to be born rich either. This isn’t just the anger of circumstance, this is the anger of the Circumstance of Circumstance. There’s no point in being angry at being born poor…
“this is how I really feel sometimes. ”
I have anger for something, but I also feel like I have nowhere or no one to direct this anger at...so why be angry? Should I be angry at my parents? Ask the world why I couldn’t have “smarter” or “ wealthier” parents? So many statistics have shown being born poor is in part also a generational issue. This is another Circumstance of Circumstance. My parents were born into poverty, and so were their parents, and who knows how far back this circumstance stretches, but it is there. This isn’t an attack or critique on racism, or capitalism, or injustices of society and it’s failing. I’m just a kid who was born into poverty. I understand those outside factors have a great impact on minorities and those in long term poverty. My mother was born in poverty in South Carolina and my dad was born in Santo Domingo slums of Dominican Republic; so maybe I’m not just some kid born into poverty, maybe I am someone born into a degree of misfortunate. For me this is just how I feel with what I come to reflect upon. Often I think about how people make declarations about the nature of life—some will say “Life is good” others saying “Life is suffering.” Whether Life is giving blessings or full of cruelty, and some of us experience one more than the other, it just seems as if Life is Life…
and this is how I really feel sometimes.
2. So walking around thinking about how “Life is Life” you kind of don’t recognize how poor you are until it’s brought to your face. Only when your friends, or just peers share their stories of experience and you compare your life to theirs are you’re reminded of your circumstance. Then when you meet more people along your journey of financial gain...you meet more and more people who in comparison shows how your lack of funds and disparity really has an impact upon you. There’s a new dilemma you have to consider...are you not doing enough?”
3. I wonder ,“am I not doing enough to get me out of this circumstance” followed by “has my circumstance really put me at a disadvantage in life.” Of course you gotta work to get your own gain, but are some of us working harder than others? I don’t think I can even say “It shouldn’t be this way.” I’m not even sure if I am so angry that I have a hard time wishing it wasn’t this way. However, If I’m saying to myself that “Life really is just Life” then is that just how it is? If I have nowhere to direct my anger, then the anger has to be directed at myself for feeling like im not doing enough…
and once more, this is how I really feel sometimes.
4. This is far from a complaint and this definitely isn’t a self pity reflection but rather an analysis of self worth. When everyday is a day you end up thinking about how to increase your bank account number, you come to realize your life is intrinsically linked to a flimsy piece of paper —why is the meaning of my life really determined by the amount of money I have? Yeah some people commit suicide despite having masses of wealth, and of course money doesn’t equal happiness...but that doesn’t mean it can’t lead to happiness, doesn’t mean it can’t help. Of course some of us go back to the sentiments of “there’s someone out there that got it worse than me” or simply put “it can be worse.” However, should I really be feeling relief by regarding myself as “hey at least I’m not that guy?” Should I really be finding fortune in disregarding such individuals because their tragedies are one’s I don’t experience? Am I then just not seeing them as humans in suffering and just seeing their misfortune as one I was “lucky” to escape? This is a dilemma that pops into my head…
and of course, this is also how I really feel sometimes.
5. This isn’t just about me and my anger and frustrations but things I’ve heard from family and friends. These are the thoughts and feelings I’ve picked up from media and life experience. You never know what you might be thrown into when you’re born, that just seems like how things are...but no matter how much financial success I may or may not achieve, whether I die poor or die rich...I’ll always hate being poor. For now, I can only imagine how carefree it must feel to spend money without worrying or concern for how much you have left...and I wonder how many others that similar to me or in worse predicaments have had this same thought.